Instructions:
1. This test is just like the SATs, except way more important.
Just read each question and select the best answer.
2. I find that it's best if you just go with your gut instinct, but if you need to change an answer just click the circle next to your new choice.
3. Don't leave any questions blank.
4. You must get a perfect score to pass on to round two.
5. You may take this as many times as you wish.

Question #1
Tattoos:__________

A. I don't want the streched out crap on my skin after I pop out 16 of Dan's children...
B. Yes, but they are like totally meaningful.
C. Yes, and I want more! more! more!
D. All over my body.

Question #2
Piercings (other than ears):__________

A. That's supposed to be a suprise, I love suprises!
B. I used to have like 50 but now I cut back a little since that infection.
C. Lots and Lots.
D. None at all.

Question #3
Full Set of Teeth:__________

A. Of course.
B. Well you see I play hockey and...
C. I have a full set of teeth, but I play hockey and am quite possibly a Canadian.
D. Yes, and I keep all the teeth of my victims so that they can't be identified by thier dental records.

Question #4
Lisp:__________

A. No.
B. Only when I'm really really wasted.
C. Shhhlightly.
D. I hope not, but if I did I would cry.

Question #5
Do you twist off your oreo:__________

A. Sometimes.
B. Never.
C. Yes, all us Canadians do, ehh.
D. Always

Question #6
Sense of Humor:__________

A. Yeah, I can laugh at all kinds of things.
B. Only at funerals or during horror movies.
C. No, nothing is funny, I am emo.
D. Yeah, but I'm easily offended.

Question #7
Angry Ex-boyfriend:__________

A. No.
B. I don't date much.
C. Yeah, and when he finds out about Dan he's gonna beat his ass.
D. Yes, and he has lots of guns and stuff.

Question #8
Annoying Laugh:__________

A. Nah.
B. Not unless you think Fran from The Nanny has an annoying laugh.
C. I don't laugh, because woo is me.
D. Nothing I do is annoying, I'm perfect.

Question #9
Criminal Record:__________

A. No.
B. Not anymore, but I used to be a real big clepto.
C. Yeah, but tell me you've never smoked crack and walked into the school play naked.
D. Yes I'm serving time, but I'll be out soon.

Question #10
Smoke:__________

A. Tabacco is Whacko and I nag the shit out of everyone who smokes.
B. A spliff here and there never hurt no one.
C. Weed, Crack, Cigarrettes, Crystal Meth, The four basic food groups.
D. Like a Chimney.

Question #11
Drink:__________

A. All the freeking time.
B. Occasionally.
C. No not really.
D. Alcohol is deadly, and I'm underage, so I know it's against the law.

Question #12
Glasses/Contacts:__________

A. No I'm not a dork.
B. It doesn't matter.
C. Colored contacts are cool, like Rue Paul.
D. Yeah, and I like wacky frames all the time.

Question #13
US Citizen:__________

A. Yep, and proud of it!
B. Almost.
C. If Dan marries me I won't have to peel potatoes in mother Russia anymore.
D. No, I'm Canadian, ehh.

Question #14
ADD/ADHD:__________

A. I have ADHD and/or ADD.
B. Niether, because those are just excuses for parents who don't properly beat their kids.
C. Yeah, but at least I get to sniff the aderol.
D. What the hell is that?

Question #15
Do you like, talk like this:__________

A. Like totally, for sure and stuff.
B. No, and that kind of pisses me off.
C. Not like really.
D. No, but like has that like ever happened to you?

Question #16
AHA/CPR Certified:__________

A. What is that?
B. Sure I guess.
C. No, in my religion we don't believe in that.
D. I don't know what that is, but I'm gonna say yes.

Question #17
Huh?__________

A. I don't know.
B. Yeah.
C. What?
D. I told you already, I don't know.

Question #18
Would it bother you if I wore shoes/boots to bed?__________

A. Tremendously.
B. Somewhat, but if we were at a party, and you passed out, I'd take them off for you so none of my friends fuck with you.
C. Not at all, I do it all the time.
D. No, but I'd nag the shit out of you anyway.

Question #19
Can your dad beat me up?__________

A. Yes, and he will because he hates any guy I bring home.
B. No my parents would never harm anyone, they believe in time outs and such.
C. Yes, but he's fucking cool.
D. Who cares, I fucking hate him.

Question #20
Nose-Picking:__________

A. Yeah, but only if I'm hungry.
B. What I do in my free time is my business.
C. No, but I'm always snorting coke, so occasionally I need to use a Q-tip to unclog my bloody nasal passages.
D. Never, but I pick other peoples noses for them.

Question #21
If you were my girlfriend would you object to me eating food off your back if we were doing it doggy-style?__________

A. Why not, I wouldn't even know you were eating.
B. What the hell, it's college.
C. Heh. No. Not right off the bat at least.
D. Oh you're disgusting!

Question #22
Do you, yahoo?__________

A. All the freeking time.
B. Occasionally.
C. Why the fuck not?
D. Nah. I don't really know how to use a search engine.

Question #23
Which statement best describes you?

A. I have emotional breakdowns frequently.
B. I cry over pretty much everything.
C. I handle difficult situations well.
D. The world hates me, so fuck them.

Question #24
Complete the following sentence...
Toying with people's emotions is __________.

A. So much fun.
B. Fucked up, but I do it anyway.
C. Wrong, which is why I treat people the way I want to be treated.
D. Hillarious!

Question #25
If Dan did something to hurt me...

A. I would get my friend, parent, older brother, etc. to beat the living shit out of him.
B. I'd just let him stomp all over me.
C. I'd confront him about it and make an attempt to reach a compromise.
D. I wouldn't say anything, but rather give him the cold shoulder, because he should know what he did wrong.